某集的「慾望城市」(Sex & the City)裡面,Carrie因為不知道該選現在這個對她很好的男朋友,還是已婚、又帶著超級吸引她的特質的前任男友,所以問道,是否現代女子因為選擇太多,被寵壞了,反而無法選擇?

我想現代生活環境較好的人,都有類似的問題──選擇太多,以致無法選擇。我也是,對什麼都沒辦法選,面對太難選擇的岔路,有時真只想坐在地上哭,除非有人拉起我的手帶我走。

每回我看「海上鋼琴師」(The Legend of 1900)都會有想哭的衝動,尤其Tim Roth在片尾,跟他摯友解釋,為何他寧願留在船上被炸死也不願到陸地上的那段話,更是令人傷感。

他說,讓他退卻的不是他眼前的東西,而是”what he didn't see”。

他說,鋼琴,它有88鍵,它有界限,彈琴者才是沒有界線的,「你」才是沒有界限的。

如果今天給他一台沒有邊界的鋼琴,有無限多個鍵,他根本彈不出音樂。

而城市對他來說,太沒有邊界了,是太大的一條船,要如何選擇?

一個城市有上千條路、上萬個房子、上萬個女人,該怎麼選擇?

“Where does it end?”

***

我常常不知道該怎麼選擇,每當勉強做了決定,我眼中看到的不是這個選擇,而是看到其他「機會成本」,看到其他放棄的東西、擦肩而過的美夢,遺憾無邊無際。

而我只敢漂浮在海上,整片陸地成了一生不敢追求的美夢。

***

片中有一段,時值暴風雨,Tim Roth帶著剛上船而無法適應激烈搖晃的人,坐在鋼琴椅上,任由船身晃動,晃著鋼琴與他們兩人在大廳滿場飛舞的鏡頭,實在好美...

***

也許有時候,我們該拋棄理性,用心來傾聽自己真誠的呼喊,隨它的力量帶我去該去的地方,該走的路。

就如同電影「風中奇緣」(Pocahontas)裡的一首”Listen with Your Heart”。

Listen with your heart
You will understand

Let it break upon you
Like a wave upon the sand

Listen with your heart
You will understand

***

既然提到「風中奇緣」(Pocahontas),就讓我再多提一點。

片尾曲”If I Never Knew You”真是好聽又感人,高中時我一天到晚唱。

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me

大家總是在追尋”the missing part of me”。如果錯過了…”Lost forever…If I never knew you”。有個人可以給你這種感受,這是多麼美好的感覺。

And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

如果要選一首濫情的對唱情歌來聽,那麼,選這首吧。

***

If I Never Knew You
         Jon Secada & Shanice

[:Smith:]
If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

[:Pocahontas:]
If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

[:Smith:]
I thought our love would be so beautiful

[:Pocahontas:]
Somehow we made the whole world bright

[:Both:]
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night
But still my heart is singing
We were right

[:Pocahontas:]
If I never knew you
If I never knew this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

[:Smith:]
There's no moment I regret
Since the moment that we met
If our time has gone too fast
I've lived at last...

[:Both:]
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright

[:Pocahontas:]
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light

[:Both:]
And still my heart is singing
We were right

[:Smith:]
We were right
And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through

[:Pocahontas:]
Empty as the sky

[:Both:]
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

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